The Queen Who Lost
by Margnuo
Summary: She is a broken hearted little girl who has been hurt so deep, she become angry. Lost, afraid and desperately need guidance.


Susan Pevensie was one of the tender hearted people you'll ever know. Once upon a time she was a queen of a wonderful land, dubbed as the gentle queen. She loved by all her subject. Even until today they still love her deeply, longing to see their lovely queen once again.

She also loved by her friends, some of them even dare to call her their best friend, even though the feeling was not mutual on Susan's side. Her siblings are the best friend she ever had and wished to have ever.

A lot of people thought that Susan was an introvert. She wasn't and never was. The closest people around her knew this and all of her subject, friends and old suitors knew this also. But these days, you'll never figure it out since she isn't act like one.

You'll never hear her talk about herself, her life, her experience, or her family. It was her defense mechanism, built years ago when one of her beloved told her that she won't come back to his land as she grow older and had learned all the things she need from it.

It broke her heart. She cried silently on a lot and on most of nights after it, but because she is a silent sufferer no one knew not even her little sister whom she shared a bedroom at their warm house, let alone her roommate at St. Finbar.

If you saw her now, you'll think that all she cared in the world are fashions, boys and party. Don't worry you aren't a shallow person to the least if you think that way, not at all. Her cousin Eustace and her family friend Jill, Aunt Polly and Professor Diggory also thought and convince about her that way. She was so good at playing pretend even her herself believed it sometimes.

But to tell you the truth she was not like that at all, like this story told you before she was the tenders' hearted and beloved queen of her land. So don't you think that would be impossible to be a queen that loved so much if she only cared about grand ball, dresses or suitors?

But if you are an observant person or have known her for the rest of your life, or love her so much you'll do anything to keep her safe, warm and happy like her brothers and sister, you'll know different.

She is a broken hearted little girl who has been hurt so deep, she become angry. Lost, afraid and desperately need guidance. If only she wanted to open up and tell somebody, anybody…

Instead she became an expert at changing subject every times people tried to start a conversation about her. Other people who know too little about her would gladly and willingly changing the subject from her to them.

She'll just wave her hand, put on her best smile and say "forget about me, tell me more about that boy who fancy you." And with that remark she safe once again from their question.

But it won't happen with her siblings or cousin. They would push her harder, trying desperately to crack that silly shell she built up to protect her heart, to spare her tears and to try and forget all the sweetest memory she longed to relive again.

In the end of most these conversation, she would snapping at them while inwardly winced at her rudeness and made mental note to never do it ever again no matter what they said. But every time she felt she can't take it anymore because it hurt too badly, or when the tears stated to spring into her eyes, she did it again.

Then again and again she'll curse herself, crying silently when the night had come.

Her siblings were an entirely different case, no matter how much they pushed Susan toward the edge; they stopped before she did one of this. They knew, understand and respect the rule.

When everything would get intense between Susan, Edmund or Lucy; Peter would took her small and delicate hand on her big and rough one then took her to the park, promise to treat her ice cream.

When it was Peter, Susan and Lucy; Edmund would offered to make some tea, put his hand on Peter and Lucy then smile gently toward Susan and hug her tight soon after they were alone.

Then when it comes to Peter, Susan and Edmund; Lucy would hug her right there and said cheerfully "Let's go to the café! Treat me some cheese cake, Su. It's been ages."

Their sibling knew that Susan was hurt and lost. They tried to reach her not pushed her away, therefore they had all the patience needed for this task. They love her too much to stop trying and ignored her. Unfortunately it wasn't enough…


End file.
